I figured out why I'm not sleeping. I wake up every morning with a sick feeling. I know something is missing and then I remember what it is. I have to talk myself up every morning. I have to convince myself to be happy. I have to coach myself to not feel heartsick. I don't sleep because I don't want to have to wake up and go through all of that. The last time this happened I had someone who would talk to me until I felt ok to sleep. Now I don't.
I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of writing about it. I'm so frustrated that someone can affect me this much. I just want to feel better. I'm doing a pretty good job but I have my moments. This is a moment.
2 comments:
ooh i'm sorry you are heartsick. you know what's nice when you're falling asleep though? you can spread out diagonally across your bed and stretch out and take up all the room you want because you don't have to share it with anybody!!
We all have our moments! Take them with a grain of salt and try to remember how much better you can feel!
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