It's a good thing I have the internet. How else would I waste my time?
I figured out why I'm not sleeping. I wake up every morning with a sick feeling. I know something is missing and then I remember what it is. I have to talk myself up every morning. I have to convince myself to be happy. I have to coach myself to not feel heartsick. I don't sleep because I don't want to have to wake up and go through all of that. The last time this happened I had someone who would talk to me until I felt ok to sleep. Now I don't.
I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of writing about it. I'm so frustrated that someone can affect me this much. I just want to feel better. I'm doing a pretty good job but I have my moments. This is a moment.