Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I am a front desk clerk

*I really truely do love my job and I meet alot of really cool people. Its just those few people who argue with you about availability and treat you like something they found on your shoes. A friend found this and posted it in her blog. I found much truth in it.

I am a Front Desk Clerk
"I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds.

Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "S".

It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, 3 cribs, and yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

I am a Front Desk Clerk. I am expected to speak all languages fluently. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday on the weekend we're sold out that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. THIS time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad. And it is my fault that everyone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in, even though you had no reservation. After all, you stay at our brand of hotel all the time, 300 nights a year, and this is only the first time you've ever been to our city.

I am a front desk clerk. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls, delivering six bath towels to room 625, plunging the toilet in room 101, and restocking the supply of pool towels, all at the same time. Yes, I will be glad to call the van driver and tell him to drive over all the cars stuck in traffic because you've been waiting at the airport for 15 minutes and you've got jet lag.

I am a front desk agent, an operator, a bellhop, houseman, guest service representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information specialist, entertainment critic, restauranteur, stock broker, referee, janitor, computer technician, plumber, ice-breaker, postman, babysitter, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, lifeguard, electrician, ambassador, personal fitness trainer, fax expert, human jukebox, domestic abuse counselor, and verbal punching bag. Yes, I know room 112 is not answering their phone. And of course I have their travel itinerary so I know exactly where they went when they left here 9 hours ago, and what their cell phone number is.

I always know where to find the best vegetarian-kosher-Mongolian-barbecue restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money and without getting caught in traffic. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the nation's economy.

I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel, Antarctica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special $1 rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.

I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, condole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, fix the printer, and tell your friends that you're here. And I know exactly where 613 Possum Trot Lane is in the Way Out There subdivision that they just built last week.

After all, I AM a Front Desk Clerk!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Some people really like crack. I really like books.

I read alot and really quickly. So far in June I have read...

Quakeland by Francesca Lia Block. Its not my favorite by her. I liked it but I didn't like it. Probably because the main character was stupid when it came to her boyfriend. I have very little patience for women who stay with assholes.

Bright Lights Big Ass, Bitter is the new Black and Such a Pretty Fat all by Jen Lancaster. These books are HILARIOUS. The first one is the best because she is a high powered bitch of an executive and loses it all in the post 9/11 crash. She gets a huge reality check and learns something...kinda. I finished all three of the books in about 2 days each. They are very entertaining, quick reads.

Blood Roses by Francesca Lia Block: Still not my favorite book by her. Her recent stuff hasn't lived up to her older works. These stories were good but only seemed to skim the surface. They were all pretty short and ended abruptly. Some people like the fill in the end of the story books but I don't.

The Foretelling by Alice Hoffman. She is one of my favorite authors. This book is for young adult readers. I didn't realize that when I bought it. It was fabulous. Its about a girl named Rain who is the daughter of a Queen. Their people are based on the Amazon women. The women around her are all strong, independent, fierce woman who exist without men in their day to day lives. They are constantly fighting off men who invade their land. Rain beings to wonder about other things such as empathy towards their "enemies" and wonders what a world outside of her own would be like.